Technology and Youtube Videos

I guess the whole consistency thing is sort of out the window by now, considering the fact that its been over a month since my last post. It doesnt really matter anyway, I guess. As long as I do at least continue to post, the frequency is not important. Its a blog - here for me when I'm ready, without the pressures of a due date that tend to quash the usual surge of creativity necessary for writing anything truly meaningful. Thats the beauty of technology.

Now that I think about it, I have always been really interested by all that technology has been able to offer. Computers have been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. I can recall sitting at the keyboard clicking away at the now seemingly ancient program known as "Reader Rabbit", aimed at strengthening a kindergartener's reading fluency and mathematical skills. I remember my parents bringing home our family's first Game Boy Colors, a green one for me, and a yellow one for my brother. I've used playstastions, PS2, Gamecubes, XBox, Wii, Nintendo 64, cellphones, ipods - pretty much everything that has come out in the last decade or so. And with that, I have also been part of many of the online phenomenons, from the childish worlds of Neopets and Millsberry, to the now widespread and more mainstream vehicles of Twitter and Facebook.

Speaking of Facebook, that sort of brings me to something that has been bothering me a little bit lately. I, like most teenagers who live on planet earth, am a member of the Facebook community. Its almost obligatory - you reach a certain age, you get a Facebook. Theres nothing unique about it. Everyone has one and everyone expects everyone else to have one. Its kind of like our generation has been brainwashed or hardwired (technology joke, haha) to follow this 'jump on the bandwagon' mentality. We completely eat up everything thats spoon-fed to us by the media and power hungry consumer market executives. Its like we dont even really know how to truly communicate with each other anymore. Its sad to think that we've lost the ability to express ourselves without clicking on a keyboard and using a devolved form of english made up of abbreviations and nonsensicle substitutions, such as using a 'y' in the word 'like', making it come out as 'lyk'. I dont mean to be as harshly critical as I sound, so I'll get off this soap box now :)



Anyway, on a completely different note, I been obssessing over a bunch of new music lately. A lot of it I find thanks to the musically eclectic line up on So You Think You Can Dance. Besides being an amazing reality program that showcases insane dance talent, the music they have in the background of the routines is amazing. The show has helped launch the careers of several very well known artists. One of its most recent gems is Christina Perri and her song "Jar of Hearts". The song is amazing, and the story behind the singer is even more amazing. If you dont know it already, you should really look into it.

Here's the link:

"Jar of Hearts" - Christina Perri

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHQo4s1-lQI

Some other songs I have been listening over and over to online lately are less deep and thought-provoking, but in a way just as good. The ones I've been obssessing over are parodies and silly stories set to music. Here are some of my favorites.

"Mrs. Sharp" - Singers at Rated RSO

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9baqBTh4yCk&feature=related

"You are My B$tch" - Skylar Astin and Robb Sapp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zl0wQl3uBEk&feature=related

"Todd" - Mitzi Michaels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCIB4fj_JP0&feature=channel

"Q Train to Coney Island" - Wesley Taylor and Josh Young

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpaKAy8iJ6w

"Fat Old Men" - Matt Doyle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_H2y1jiIcw&feature=related

So I guess todays post has been kind of all over the place. To be honest, its taken me three hours to finish this, which means I probably shouldnt have even tried to make one because obviously there wasnt really anything concrete that I had wanted to write about. I hate writing just for the sake of writing. But in my defense, the entire post did come full circle toward the end, despite all the babbling. I mean, I started out talking about technology and I ended with a bunch of videos from youtube...which is technological in a way, right? So yeah, next time I'll try to a have a more solid train of thought so I dont end up rambling on an on about a whole lot of nothing.

I "Dont Do Sadness" ... but I do a little Guitar

My last post was one in which I vented the pent up frustrations that have been taking up space in my head for the last few days. Getting it all down was a very helpful form of release, and though it all sounded a tad bit too whiny and self-centered upon further reflection, sometimes it's important to just spew what it is that is bothering you. I have a habit of needing to let moods and emotions run their course. Now that I have been able to let everything out, I am in a much more positive frame of mind and ready to face the summer.

So today I embarked on my previously mentioned quest to learn a new instrument. The one I've chosen to start off with first: the guitar. I figured that I can take my guitar pretty much everywhere - to my room, infront of the television, outside in the backyard...you get the picture. It would be a little tougher hauling around the keyboard with me everywhere I went. As it turns out, it was a good decision to start off with the guitar, besides its obvious size benefits. It's been a pretty easy instrument to pick up, taking into consideration the fact that today was my very first day ever touching it. I should probably explain my musical background more in depth first as a way to preface my first encounter with the guitar.

You see, when I was three or four, I fell head-over-heels in love with the violin. I loved the way it looked, I loved the way it sounded, and I loved the beautiful strokes made by the bows of professional violinists as they effortlessly caressed the strings to produce a form of music so soft and sweet it sent chills down my tiny spine. I begged for lessons, but my mother was advised that it would not be wise to get me started on such a complex instrument until I were older and mature enough to handle the strain it would have on my growing mind. I have no idea where that advice came from and though it probably wasnt the only determining factor in a household with a two young children to feed, I wasnt signed up for violin lessons until I reached the age of nine. I was ecstatic and under the tutelage of a wonderful and zany music professor I learned the ins and outs of the violin. My teacher truly was crazy, but it the good sense. She was exactly how you'd picture the perfect music teacher (or at least how I always did) - wild, and artsy and a bit psychotic, but always enthusiastic about her students and the music that she taught. She inspired me to join the school band when the opportunity came years later.

Since it was a band and not an orchestra, I had to choose a new instrument. When I asked my old violin professor, she straight away told me to choose the french horn. When I asked her why she said that nobody plays the french horn. I was kind of confused by that answer, but she went on to explain that since nobody plays horn, it is more in demand for colleges and the scholarships would be abundant. Being the overachiever that I am, I couldnt help but agree with that sort of logic. Though I did still test out several different instruments (flute, clarinet, oboe, trumpet and trombone) before making my decision, something just felt right when I got that first horn in my hands. From that day on, the horn became my instrument. Eventually, as my schedule got more hectic and my academics more demanding, violin slowly faded from the picture, eclipsed by my new-found love, the french horn. I still know how to play the violin to this day of course, because you dont forget that easily, but it is no longer my one and only instrument.

In the years that followed I learned to play a variety of different instruments for a variety of different reasons. First came the xylophone, then the mellophone. Since I could play the mellophone, I was automatically able to play the trumpet (they have the same fingering). Later came the saxophone, which I still havent quite gotten down to where I feel completely comfortable, but its getting there. Long story short, I have a history of picking up instruments. Sound has always been a big part of my life. As I previously mentioned, I've been singing practically longer than I've been talking. And my parents say that I used to mimic accents and pick up on melodies after the first time I'd hear things. Which must have been true, since it still occurs today. If I hear a song once and am truly listening, I'll pretty much remember the majority of the lyrics and get at least the gist of the melody.

Now that I have provided a brief history of my musical life, I can continue by saying that the guitar was a completely different animal. It's frustrating and beautiful and terrible and addicting. Though today was my first time picking it up, I played with it for at least five hours. Some might call that crazy, some may call it dedication. I'm in the middle, but kind of leaning toward the crazy because of the reason why I practiced so long. Using the lovely resource that is the internet, I was able to discover the tabs for pretty much every single song in Spring Awakening. If you know me, you know that is a big deal. Spring Awakening is one of my favorite musicals of all time. As I browsed the tabs, looking for a song that a no-knowledge beginner like me would be able to play, I came across "Don't Do Sadness" sans "Blue Wind". I was elated, because not only do I absolutely love the haunting song, but the tabs were pretty straightforward. So I pretty much spent my whole day attempting to play "Don't Do Sadness" with at least a moderate degree of accuracy.

Again, it feels good to have gotten all of this down. The words have been caught up inside of my mind all day, and its nice to finally have them out and down neatly somewhere. Another wierd thing about me is that I have a tendancy to think in words. You know how most people think or dream with pictures and little movies or visions? I see descriptions and whole bits of dialouge written out in my mind like words on a page. So sometimes, when I'm deep in thought for a long time, my thoughts can get a little crowded. This problems goes back to the reason I made this blog - to be my creative outlet.

So I can let the words flow freely.

The Beginning

I've always had trouble in the summer months keeping my mind out of the clouds and occupied with things other than daydreams. When I was younger, I remember summer being much more fun and exciting with a lot more to look forward to and less of the dead time in between activities that I have now come to expect and dread from June till August. It really is quite maddening when all you have to do is sit home and watch tv. My depressing state of mind during summer is probably a result of my hectic and demanding schedule during the school year. As the years have progressed, my life has become steadily more and more demanding academically, seeing that - as a perfectionist - I have a tendancy to bite off more than I can chew in an effort to make the most of my time. However, all that drive, dedication and general busy-ness all seem to come to a screaching halt during summer.

When my brain doesnt have something productive to work on, it tends to fixate. I mean truly fixate. When I was seven I spent an entire summer watching animal planet twentyfour/seven. And when I wasnt watching shows about animals I was reading books and doing research on animals. I became obsessed to the point that I had convinced myself that my calling in life was to help save every wounded squirrel, every sick panda bear, and every endangered tortoise that walked the earth. Needless to say, that dream evaporated three days into my first week of second grade.

The obsession I am dealing with right now is one that encompasses the entire world of musical theater. My life has always revolved around music in some form or other. In fact, some of the first notes I ever heard were the chilling opening chords of The Phantom of the Opera, blasted by my parents on our family room stereo. There is footage of me singing along to Barbra Streisand music back when I had barely learned how to speak. In school I joined the band right off, and can officially say that I can play four instruments very well (I can play six instruments, technically, if you want to count basic knowledge). In elementary school I was part of the school chorus and belted my little ten year old heart out on the silly folk songs in our line-up, being the first to grab the solos anytime they were available.

Now there aren't so many outlets for my musical creativity, as sad as that is to say. I am still part of the band program at my school, but for me it has sort of stagnated. I'm in a place where I have learned as much as can be taught to me from the teachers at my current level and seeing as I cant exactly move on to the next step yet, I'm in a kind of musical limbo. Of course I could press on by myself and challenge myself to improve and get to that next level on my own. I know thats what I SHOULD be doing. However, there is some sort of barrier that has been holding me back, which is a very bad thing for my musical future.

On a different side, there is absolutely no way for me to broaden the other horizons of my love for music. I have no way of recieving lessons in piano or guitar - both being the main intrumental vehicles of individual songwriting. The next step for me would be to start writing my own music, something I've been dying to do since I was nine. However, you can't very easily write a song to sing while you play a french horn or a trumpet (the two main instruments I do know how to play). I need something that I can get under my hands, something simple that I can mess around with until I feel comfortable creating my own music. In no way am I an underpriviledged student of music. I am very fortunate to have parents that have provided me with all the tools. I do have a guitar and a keyboard to play, if the ability was there. The problem is, I wont be able to take lessons for either of them. So I have resorted this summer to teaching myself guitar and piano. I know it has been done millions of times before and I know a majority of the supremely successful musicans out there were self-taught, but therein lies the other barrier I am plagued by. Things that come easily to the masses and can sometimes even be described as natural and commonplace dont always come easy to me. It is ironic considering that I am quite the opposite. Things considered difficult come easier to me. The hardest questions on the math test, the highest note on the french horn, the most confusing verses of Shakespeare - all of them were a piece of cake for me as my fellow classmates looked on with puzzled expressions. Its the 'easier' stuff that stumps me. Like driving. Everybody drives, right? Everybody. All over the world. I assumed that since a lot of things came so naturally to me, driving would be a breeze. No such luck. There are many other things like that, but they are too numerous to mention. In short, I'm worried that without training, my self-teaching of the piano and the guitar will leave much to be desired.

Another problem I face is that I havent been able to sing, really sing - as in, in front of people - for years. There was no chorus at my middle school and in high school its a class. Since I am one of those overachieving, get-a-million-credits kind of students, a basic level class such as chorus just isnt possible for me to take. In fact, if I took it, it would seriously damage my GPA. Cant exactly risk that. So, with the exception of band, I've never really taken a fun class in my life. I mean, they're called electives, but I've never 'elected' to take any classes for the sheer desire to enjoy myself. So my singing really just consists of belting along with the radio and driving my brother crazy while we do homework (I sing as I do math, its a wierd concentration thing).

Kind of changing topics, another reason I created this blog (besides as a place to vent about my frustrations over a lack of outlets) was because my biggest dream in life is to be a writer. And I dont mean I wish to get a story or two published or work as a journalist in some small town newspaper. I also dont mean I want to be a writer like Sarah Dessen or Meg Cabot who spew out a few superficial books every year with nothing to show for it. It has always been my dream to reach celebrity status with my writing. I'm not exactly sure what it is that I mean by that, but I'll just say that J.K. Rowling and Stephanie Meyer (back when it was the substance of her writing that counted) are kind of examples of what I'm looking for without all the phenomenon craziness. With the creation of a phenomenon comes the possibility that your work can shift into the relm of absurdity, where it loses its initial respectability. Twilight is exhibit A, but I wont get into that.

I havent been able to write much lately, what with the hectic-ness of finals and AP exams that made up the last half of the school year. But now that I've reached the dull days of summer, perhaps I'll have time to work on some ideas. I'm making this blog just as a way to keep myself writing, in some form or another. I am terrible at keeping journals/diaries. I've had at least twenty over the course of my lifetime, and none of them have ever spanned past a third entry. I still have every single one, and every time I look back on them, I laugh at how much my voice has changed in the time since. While I love the process of writing on a fresh notebook page with a nice, liquid-y ink pen, there is something very cathartic about the feeling of the keys as they click beneath your fingertips. Its a rapid motion that is both soothing in its release of any pent up tension and calming in its rhythmic sound and feeling. I love typing and I need a release, a place to put my emotions and all the thoughts, however mundane they may be, that cross through my mind during they idle days of day dreaming that lie ahead.

I attempted to make a blog once when I was in middle school. Signing in to this one, I was able to read a bit of what I wrote in that first blog. I found it kind of nauseating, reading what the younger me wrote. I can most accurately describe the feeling as the kind some actors get when they watch movies with themselves in it portraying a character that they were never particularly fond of. I was annoying and sounded as though I thought I knew everything, which was probably the case. Not many years have passed since I wrote in that last blog, but I can say that this one will definitely be different. For one, I am now old enough to admitt that I know absolutely nothing about the world, and I cant possibly claim to. However, one thing reading that did make me realize is that a blog is the perfect place to bounce ideas off to yourself - and it'll stay there for a very long time. A journal can get thrown away. But a blog is kind of inifinite thanks to the eternal-ness of the internet. I dont expect anyone to read this. In fact, I am pretty sure nobody will. But for now - until I get my big break in whatever it is that my subconscience is annoyingly yearning for - I can use this blog as a place to, essentially, talk to myself and get my ideas and priorities straight.

I have so many things I want to do. Lets see if I can make them happen.